TO PRINT OR NOT TO PRINT THAT IS NOT THE ONLY QUESTION!

I've always been reluctant to spend big money on printers even though I really like having easy click access to hard copies.  It just seemed that  the ink cartridges are expensive and generally they don't last long.
In fact I've never actually bought a brand new printer.  I've always taken hand-me-downs and refilled the ink cartridges with a syringe type refill kit. So I've struggled at times to have a smoothly running printer system.
Running Linux hasn't made printing easier since the drivers are never supplied with the printers and if they are available at all, they need to be found on the web and often installed manually. Turboprint is a good source for drivers for mainstream printers but it isn't freeware.
Last year when my friend started working at Premier Salons, the company supplied her with a used HP 1000 laser printer.  But she already had a new Canon Pixma MP160 colour inkjet all in one photo printer/scanner installed and running and didn't want to change to a monochrome, basic printer so she lent it to me.  Since this particular printer is among the best selling printers of all time (HP sold 60 MILLION OF THEM!)  it was not too difficult to get it to run well on Redhat 9.0 and SuSe 11.1.  But then Karen moved on and the company took the printer back and I was faced with returning to using my Dad's ancient hand me down Canon BJ200 bubble jet or getting another printer.  I began researching and shopping for a steal on a printer. 
A couple of years ago I received an HP 325 compact colour photo printer as a birthday gift but while it works flawlessly with my Canon Powershot SD990 IS digital Elph camera,  it only prints the 4"X6" size so while I felt that I could forgo the expense of a colour and/or photo quality printer, I still had to have another printer.
Since there's already scanning and faxing capability in our house as well, I narrowed down my needs to a basic, monochrome printer but despite my frugal nature, having had the quiet, quick and fluid HP 1000 laser printer on my desk I decided that I would not return to the world of clattering inkjet printers and their seemingly always nearing empty ink cartridges.  Ink cartridges are like batteries....it seems they are always dying or dead. But laser toner cartridges last for thousands of copies.
So dear reader, this frugal journalist turned to the internet and Craigslist to find a laser printer.
A quick search turned up 185 printers for sale within reasonable distance of my office and then 22 laser printers, with 7 of those being colour.  I was down to 15.  4 of them stated that the toner was finished or almost finished and 2 had broken or missing parts. Now I was down to 9.  5 were either huge office types or located too far away to bother. Now there were 4 used, monochrome, laser printers with toner remaining.  The asking prices ran from $30 to $90 dollars.  A little research on the net told me that despite eco, and sales taxes a new laser printer could be had at Staples, Office Depot or Best Buy or Future Shop or for $75 dollars more or less.  Considering that toner refills also cost from $30 to $90 dollars locally, the obvious deduction is that used basic laser printers have zero dollar value unless they are full or nearly full of toner.  None of the remaining 4 printers seemed to be worth making appointments to see and buy so it seems that I was going to have to break down and buy my first BRAND NEW PRINTER!.
Next I turned to my favourite, local, computer store's website GreenNet to try and avoid the the big box retailers where the word Linux is never heard and lo and behold there was a Samsung 1640 compact, desktop, monochrome laser printer for $76 dollars, just a few blocks from my office.  GreenNet offered a one year "take it back to the store" type warranty as well.  Only one important detail remained before I whipped out my Airmiles credit card......will it work on my Linux SuSe 11.1 , X41 IBM Thinkpad?  
As I wrote in my previous entry, Neither Mac nor Linux, despite increasing popularity worldwide, is going to unseat Microsoft as the dominating force in home computers for the foreseeable future.  But Samsung included a Linux driver right on the installation disk....making the ML1640 laser printer almost plug n' play!  Way to go Samsung!  Thanks Greennet.

3 MAJOR WAYS TO A LOW COST, SECURE, COMPUTING ENVIRONMENT

Microsoft's Windows operating systems control the vast majority of the worlds computers. Even Mac hasn't made any serious inroads into Microsoft's market share. But there is a better way... This isn't another of my rants.....well ok it is.

In earlier posts I've detailed my experiences using Linux as my operating system going back many years. One of the great things about using Linux is that it doesn't inherently promote hardware upgrades. Linux runs well on old computers with low speed processers and small hard drives and doesn't demand massive amounts of RAM either. Consequently, as a user and a not a rich one either, I used my NEC Versa LX laptop running RedHat 9.0 for years longer than I could have if I was an XP user for example.
But there comes a time.... I'm writing this entry on my IBM X41 Thinkpad which is running SuSe 11.1 seamlessly!

So the first two things a computer user needs to have for a great computing experience are a great operating system, and high quality hardware. The third and not the least is a technician/programmer who is knowledgeable about Linux....hey every user needs help once in a while!
If you have these three things at hand, you will be able to enjoy years of trouble free, secure and very low cost computing while staying right up to date with all the latest technology.

So what is SuSe?
The openSUSE project is a community program sponsored by Novell. Promoting the use of Linux everywhere, openSUSE.org provides free, easy access to the world's most usable Linux distribution, openSUSE. You'll find more information available in many languages on the project wiki.

Open SuSe is a free and Linux based operating system for your PC Laptop or server. You can surf the web, manage your emails, music, videos and photos, do office work.

Linux is a widely used Open Source Unix-like operating system. Linux was first
released by its inventor Linus Torvalds in 1991. There are versions of
Linux for almost every available type of computer hardware from desktop
machines to IBM mainframes. ...

My old computer runs RedHat 9.0

What is Redhat....Red Hat, Inc. is a company in the free and open source software sector, and a major Linux distribution vendor.

FINE SUMMER DINING ON THE WEST COAST....TRY MY PINK SALMON RECIPE

When I was growing up in England, back when the last of the dinosaurs still stalked the earth, the only salmon I ever tasted came in a tiny 85 gram tin that cost a pound or more. It was a rare treat that was usually extended with salad cream and spread thinly on sandwich bread and that was it. I read about people going salmon fishing in Scotland but these kind of holidays were only a dream to me. I simply assumed that salmon, all salmon, but especially fresh and smoked salmon were delicacies everyone loved but were only enjoyed regularly by rich folks.

But here on the west coast, in modern times, the salmon situation is quite different. The five species of Pacific salmon, Chinook (Spring, Tyee), Chum (Dog, Silverbright), Pink, Coho (Blackmouth, Blueback) and Sockeye are widely available as well as is farmed Atlantic salmon. Despite declining wild stocks, salmon are there in the local sea for catching the year round. And guess what....salmon is absolutely the cheapest fish that one can buy! Yes! Cheaper than cod. Cheaper than farmed tilapia.

I now buy tinned salmon smoked from The Fishery on Saltspring Island. It's a family owned business that offers all the species of salmon smoked in tins. Its only around $4.oo per tin.
Regular tinned salmon is cheap in the grocery stores as well. The 213 gm. tin of wild pacific sockeye is always available for about $2.00 and goes on sale in August for less at the Real Canadian Superstore.

I've discovered something else that continues to puzzle me after all these years. Guess what. Most people don't like salmon. Yes it's true. I used to think that people en masse don't eat salmon because it seems expensive. But that isn't the reason. Most folks simply prefer beef. The purpose of this writing is not to convert those folks, it's to help people who already like salmon to get the most from their dining experiences.
For some reason that escapes me, restaurants generally treat salmon as if it is expensive....which it isn't.
Salmon served in restaurants is served in undersized, overcooked, overpriced, little, fingersized portions. There are some exceptions and I apologize to you. Local Japanese restaurants offer nice portions under $10.00. Yes! If you haven't had salmon sashimi then you haven't completed your salmon culinary tour. Try The Eatery on W. Broadway.
Here's another thing that is cheap and fabulous. Next time you're hankering for fish n' chips, order salmon n' chips instead of cod or halibut. Cockney Kings does it well.
For BBQing, grilling, sashimi, smoking, frying, poaching and for the salmon deal of the year, here's the local secret, the bottom line, the best way to go.
Yesterday at the Real Canadian Superstore I bought fresh, wild, Pacific, Pink Salmon, head off and gutted, two small fish in a bag...are you ready for this... $3.90 A KILOGRAM! Yes....less than $2.00 per lb. The cost of my fish was $6.49.

Pink salmon gives and gets a raw deal locally compared to the bigger, redder, fattier species like Sockeye and Chinook, but when they are running in August nothing beats fresh, lean, delicate, fillets of wild, Pink Pacific salmon. Why is the little Pink so under appreciated? There are a couple of reasons. Because Pink salmon is mostly caught in huge numbers right when they begin the spawning run, the overwhelming majority of Pinks are tinned for sale. Pink salmon, like other lean species of fish doesn't tin well. The flavour is bland because the fish has to be grossly over heated in order to tin it. Species like Sockeye taste better from the tin because the high fat content of the fish helps the flavour survive the hyper boiling process. Tinned Pink salmon is half the price of tinned Sockeye so I think that many people having had both species tinned and having found the much cheaper Pink salmon to be inferior assume that it's an inferior fish in general. Many folks add fat to tinned Pink salmon in the form of mayonaise for sandwiches and salads but this is not the way to enjoy Pink salmon. Pink salmon should be carefully cooked when fresh.

Pink salmon spoils quickly. To get a truly unforgettable West Coast salmon dining experience you are going to have to either know someone who understands and loves his or her salmon or you are going to have to do it yourself. Here's how Julian does it.

1. Buy your Pink salmon small, fresh and whole (head off and gutted ok) in August and September and be prepared to eat it within one day.

2. Fillet the fish or cut it into steaks just a half or at the most three quarters of an inch thick, no more. If your fish is  big enough so that the fillets are thicker than an inch, carefully slice them horizontally. For steaks, roll the belly flaps up into the belly cavity and secure them with tooth picks. The fat in the belly flaps will be held against the leaner body flesh for the most flavourful steaks and the steaks won't fall apart. If you cut your salmon into pieces that are thicker than three quarters of an inch, the outside of the fish will dry and be overcooked before the middle flakes. This is a classic way to ruin Pink salmon. Ideally Pink salmon should be cooked very quickly in pieces sized like little sole fillets.

3. Preheat a nonstick or cast iron skillet over heat high enough to sizzle butter but not burn it. Put a knob of salted butter, a sprinkle of freshly chopped parsley and little white pepper into the pan. Add the salmon and put the lid on, turn it after about a minute and cook for another minute or so until the salmon just flakes....as if you were cooking sole.

4. Since the Pink run is in late Summer, Pink salmon is often ruined on BBQ's. It gets overcooked in big chunks and this contributes to Pink salmon's reputation as being dry and unappetizing, not to mention that it's too delicate get off the grill. There really is only one way to conveniently BBQ fresh Pink salmon and that is to use a wire basket. These are cheap enough at the Dollar Store to buy and throw away if washing it afterwards is inconvenient. I like the ones that are square and flat for toast rather than the fish shaped ones as they are too big to hold the little salmon pieces. Prepare the salmon as above, except brush the salmon with melted butter. Cook it quickly over high heat so as not to dry it out. Alternatively, Pink salmon can be steamed on the grill in sealed foil with butter and a little wine....which is excellent, but of course there won't be any BBQ flavour.
DO NOT OVERCOOK IT and serve it immediately with Grey Monk Pinot Gris. Or get a growler of Derrick's Pilsner from Dix! Bon Appetit!

5 RULES FOR FINANCIAL SUCCESS FOR CANADIANS

In 1998 I wrote a letter for posting in the "Daily Rant" section of my first web page entitled
5 Rules for Financial Success for Canadians.
Reading it again recently I wondered if it was still relevant today, 10 years later. I think it is. These rules have helped me and other Canadians attain and maintain financial stability and independence in an increasingly complex world. These ideas of course are not all mine. But arranged in this simple list, I think anyone, especially those without any financial structure or goals, can put it on the fridge and benefit.


1. PAY YOURSELF FIRST.
Save 10% of every dollar you ever earn. That is a simple rule. Set up an automatic debit that takes 10% of your regular paycheque per month from your chequeing account, before any other bills come out and deposits it in your savings account, your RRSP account, purchases units in your favourite mutual fund, buys gold or silver or whatever safe savings vehicle you like. You can save 10% of the gross or the net. The details are not as important as the habit. When irregular income arrives take 10% off the top and add it to the pile. No matter where one lives, no matter how one earns the money, no matter how much money one earns, there are very few other basic rules for living that will provide the kind of financial stability and autonomy that this critically important rule will. On paper it makes sense to pay off debt before saving money. In practice, the habit of saving money on a regular basis will be more valuable than trying to pay off debt and delaying the saving process. Do not dip into your savings for month to month purchases. In the future you will be able to withdraw income from the account for investments and retirement income
Many years ago someone wrote a book about how to save money. It had one page and one word on that page. START. Read it, do it, whether you are 10 years old or 100. It's been said that creating wealth is simple not easy. This rule is a way to begin.

2. BUY YOUR HOUSE.
One must live somewhere. Why not live in a leveraged, secure, capital gains free investment. In Canada, no capital gains taxes are due on the sale price of your principal dwelling. In some circumstances, a mortgage can be made tax deductible. The equity in your house is an anchor for financial stability that will sustain you through good times and bad. Many government incentives exist to assist and encourage people to buy their own houses because the government knows that owners are less likely to become dependent on social systems than renters. Because real estate keeps pace with inflation, owners keep pace with the growing economy and the declining purchasing value of the dollars. If you need a startling example, just ask your parents how much they paid for their first house. The same disparity will exist when your children ask you the same question in 20 years!
There are only two ways to make money in this world. One is to invest in business and the other it to invest in real estate. If you can't afford your dream house, buy an apartment. If you can't afford prices in your own neighbourhood buy in another, or buy some recreational propery. If you like skiing buy a chalet, if you like fishing, buy in the lakes district, it's not what you buy, it's if you buy.

3. BUY GOLD.
The Royal Canadian Mint still mints all our coins and most paper dollars in gold and silver as it has done since the mint was established about 100 years ago. When the RCM began reducing the precious metal content of our coins in the 1960's people lost the ability to accumulate tangible wealth by saving money because the money became almost worthless. Today for example, a dollar, a loonie, is a token worth only its purchasing power, a cheap cup of coffee. In the first half of the last century, say 1938, $1.00 would have bought a meal in a restaurant. The value of that dollar is constantly falling. If you save it long enough, its value will fall to almost zero!
In 1960 a dollar coin was made of 80% fine silver. A 1960 Canadian dollar coin is worth about $10.00 today but a 1960 paper dollar is worth the same as today's loonie. A 1938 Canadian silver dollar however has enough value to purchase a meal in a restaurant!
Now, if you want your money to be worth what its worth, every time you get a paper cheque or even if you find yourself with a jar of coins. Take those almost worthless coins and some of the value of those paper notes to your local coin dealer and buy Maple Leaf Gold and Silver Coins. If you can't afford gold buy silver. If you can't afford an ounce, buy a fractional coin. These assets leave no paper trail and are a great emergency/disaster fund. There's a size for every budget. Do it every month. Doing this will keep the real value of a dollar in your hands for ever...instead of in the hands of the government.

4. BE AN OWNER, not a loaner.
Have your savings in a dividend fund rather than an interest account. Interest income is highly taxable but dividends aren't.
Buy your car don't lease it. Buy your house don't rent it. Own your business. Work for yourself at least part-time. The tax deductions are many, you'll build equity and you'll learn more skills. There are certain things that entail so much risk and have so many costs attached that is makes sense to rent them when they are to be used occasionally or at least short term. Things such as sailboats, airplanes and occasionally used, expensive tools.

5. NEVER BUY A NEW CAR.
A new car is a big status symbol in our society. It has always been so. For many people it's the biggest cheque they will ever write after a house. But all new cars depreciate very rapidly from the moment you drive your $35,000.00 Extravaganza off the lot until it's worth $500.00 some years down the road. A capital loss of 90% or more is hard to justify when its not necessary.
Buy and drive an old car. The thrill of driving a new car wears off long before the payments do! Pay approximately 10% of the new price of the car. This usually means the car will be at least 10 years old. This does not mean that you can't have all benefits of a new car and it will cost much less. You won't have a monthly car payment, you won't pay any interest, you won't pay any GST, you'll pay less PST, and if you wreck it or if it's stolen you'll lose less money. You'll pay less insurance and old cars, especially pre-computer age cars are cheaper to fix. You'll also lose less money if you sell it and it'll be easier to sell. You likely won't buy a lemon because the maintenance records will be in the glove compartment, and even if you do, you'll still risk less money.
Buy a car you like and one that fits your needs. You can keep it in pristine condition or just drive it. You can buy a big one or a small one a blue one or a white one, a fully loaded Mercedes Benz or a Chevy Cavalier these choices are not the point of this rule. It's true that some cars cost more to buy and maintain and that some last longer or use less fuel than others. But cars are available at every price point from $100.00 on up. The 10% rule is the one to follow. Virtually all cars can be had for 10 cents on the dollar at a certain point in time. A $100,000.00 BMW can be had for $10,000.00 after a few years.
After a certain number of years, some old cars actually appreciate! Why not drive a classic car? You'll look great driving it and it won't drain your account.
Exercise the 50% rule no matter what your budget is. Spend only half your money buying the car more or less. You'll need the other half for repairs. You need a $20,000.00 budget to buy that $10,000.00 BMW but a $1000.00 Chevy Cavalier can be had with only $2000.00 in hand. All those flashy ads on TV and billboards and all those huge new car stores will not be paid for by you.

SHOULD GENERAL MOTORS BE ALLOWED TO GO BROKE?

This article is an updated one that I wrote last year. Since dramatic events have occurred since then I thought is was worth re-posting, partly to affirm my own position and partly to emphasize how shocked and disappointed I am by the positions and reactions of the various governments around the world...especially the American Fed who has effectively nationalized GM.

Many Canadians view the USA as a bastion of capitalism compared to Canada and European countries. Just remember, and this most recent bailout of a long terminally ill corporate giant emphasizes the fact, that the United States of America is just as deeply embedded in socialism as other western nations. If the founding fathers can see what has happened to their country since the days of Jefferson they must surely be sick with grief.

The American Fed is even more broke than than GM! The only things that the Fed has over GM are better cash flow and more remaining credit. The nanny state is sacrificing the the present and future purchasing power of its taxpayers by borrowing trillions, YES TRILLIONS of dollars to bail out companies that are no longer viable. Yet the Fed is barely viable itself! Neither GM's $170,000,000,000.00 plus debt will ever be paid nor will the Fed's...are you ready for this $11,000,000,000,000.00 that's eleven trillion by the way, plus debt ever be paid off.

Probably the key reason why this tragedy, this crime, this gross disregard for the constitution and what's worse, common sense, must surely be the abandonment of tangible wealth in the the currency of the nation. It's the same around the world. While no system is perfect, here it is succinctly. This is a quote from another article I wrote years ago called “Once Silver Now Steel”. As we watch the decline of the American empire that began in the latter part of the 20^th century, this final dramatic crash of GM reminds me to pay attention because when the end comes it comes with uncanny speed and power.

In the days when was currency was valuable rather than token, the folks who owned it were rich because the hard currency itself in the form of high carat gold or silver held its value in the tangible asset, not in the promise of purchasing power and backed by the government of the day. Today if you have a million dollars in hand it will be worth less tomorrow than today due to inflation. If you keep it under your mattress it will be worthless in a few years. If our money was still valuable, wealth would be in the hands of citizens rather than governments. The mint would be forced to purchase precious metal from the mines and related industries instead of just making base metal tokens. Actual wealth would be placed in the hands of the people instead of virtually worthless paper and steel tokens and it would hold its value!...workers could save money without being forced to invest it. Governments couldn't print money to pay debts because it would have to buy gold and silver to do it.........Accountability would be required.

So after all these years, some would say decades, General Motors is so close to filing for chapter eleven in the US that the Fed is rumored to be planning a twenty seven BILLION dollar bailout package for the giant failing automaker. Perhaps the buzz phrase "GM's too big to fail" will become a self fulfilling prophesy. Needless to say, the ramifications of GM actually going bankrupt would be wide reaching, no doubt touching deep into the hearts of communities far and wide and affecting millions of people who in one way or another make a living or who's incomes are supported by the manufacturing of automobiles.
The water cooler, on line, talk radio and tavern talk runs the gamut from comments like "it's only because of the global economic slowdown that GM has run into tough times". And, " GM has shot itself in the foot by building huge, lousy cars that use too much fuel and that nobody wants to buy. These are urban myths.
Of course, the real reasons why GM is going broke are complex and GM has been going broke for a long time. Some of the reasons are the result of bad management decisions, like buying Hummer for example, but many are the result of market conditions that are and have been out of control of even a market player as big as GM. Like, for example, the fact that the import/export market has been a one way street for a long, long time. Japanese cars go to America, American cars don't go to Japan. And to complicate matters further, there's GMAC. GMAC lost big time in the subprime mortgage debacle. Then there are the high union wage collective agreements, crushing pension and other benefit obligations and changing demographics.

For an eye opening account of just how long GM has been bleeding to death I urge you to read Porter Stansbury's articles "Letters from the Chairman of GM". Reading these articles will crystallize just how dire GM's situation is and how the current situation is NOT a result of the most recent and dramatic economic conditions.

http://www.growthstockwire.com/archive/2008/sep/2008_sep_20.asp

http://www.dailywealth.com/archive/2007/nov/2007_nov_10.asp

Mr Stansbury's ( http://www.stansberryresearch.com/ ) letters were controversial at the time of his writings because so many people were unaware or disbelieving of just how dire the situation was and is at GM and based on my observations, THEY STILL ARE.

So given this long preamble about how GM came to find itself at the "end of the world as we know it" I must ask the following questions, " should GM be allowed to fail" and " can GM really be saved anyway. Well my answers are yes to the former and no to the latter.
Here's why. I'm philosophically opposed to pumping taxpayers money into specific companies.
That only amounts to a subsidy for a failing company that gives it an edge over its competitors. How can a market work effectively for its participants when the the government is subsidizing some companies and not others.
It's far better to let those affected by changing conditions in the market take advantage of social support systems already in place as they need them. As examples, employee pensions are insured, unemployment insurance is there for displaced workers.

Workers with skills and drive will be picked up by the remaining market players. Others will move on to other industries.
And GM as a viable business cannot be saved anyway. Because GM itself with all of the tools and resources available to it for the last twenty years has not been able to turn a profit. Providing a massive bailout package for a huge, long failing company simply postpones the inevitable at taxpayer's expense and in a very inequitable way.
The elephant has been shot a hundred times already...it just hasn't fallen down yet. GM should be allowed to fail in the normal course of business and its assets and debts absorbed by the remaining investors in the marketplace
Regards,
Julian.

Copyright JulianOnePlanet Publications 2008

DESPERATE HOUSECATS

Named after the Egyptian goddess of sunrise and descended from an ancient family heritage in Thailand, she is beautiful, affectionate, garrulous and to some people, quite aloof. She is also high maintenance, but John doesn't mind, he loves her. John spends a lot of money on Bast, he buys her bling and expensive, tasty little meals. He takes her to a pricey, local salon for more grooming and they go out to shows several times a year.

Bast is intelligent, sensitive and has a slightly nervous temperament, although she is sociable, she is bonded only to John. Bast has fine bones, an aristocratic head, a slim muscular build, short pale hair and striking, almond shaped, deep blue eyes. She has a creamy, pale body with contrasting dark features. She moves fluidly, gracefully, and occasionally, with uncanny speed and agility but spends a lot of time in bed or grooming. Bast has won several awards for her beauty and attractive disposition. Bast is a Seal Point Siamese show cat...

Bast has a cousin in Thailand called Wichien-Maat it means Moon Diamond. They have never met. Bast looks just like her but she has less contrasting markings. Moon Diamond is a Chocolate Point Siamese cat. John is considering bringing Moon Diamond over from Thailand to live with them.

Everybody loves Bast including her two best friends Thai and Bali. They are sisters who live with John's cousin Benjamin where they all visit every week or two. Thai and Bali never come to visit Bast because Benjamin doesn't drive but sometimes, John takes everyone to shows. Thai and Bali are beautiful but they are unaware of it. They have more muted, pink gray markings than Bast. They are Lilac Point Siamese show cats. They are desperate for attention and they demand a lot of it from Benjamin. They are also desperate to ESCAPE. Thai especially, really wants to get outside and rushes to answer the door at every opportunity. But Benjamin says the streets are a dangerous place for slender, naive young females.

Thai and Bali are active, playful and inquisitive and they fuss around Bast. But she's more snooty than they are and less desperate for attention generally, since she travels regularly and has many celebrity friends. One of these celebrities Ting, is a Blue Point Siamese show cat with grey face, ears, tail and paws. Ting is very sociable and knows everybody so Ting, Bast, Thai and Bali talk a lot when they are together at a show, John calls them the chatty Cathys.

Lately the cats have been talking of climbing trees, of basking in the sun, eating grass and catching crickets, stalking birds and thrilling mouse hunts, things none of the cats have ever done but have always dreamed about. Recently the cats have been talking about only ONE thing when they get together...ESCAPE!

Once, Bali squeezed by Benjamin's leg when he answered the door and ESCAPED into the hall, she went up and down the hall but all the other doors were closed until finally a bell rang and one door slid open, Bali darted in, but only found herself in a tiny room with no other doors or windows, so after a while she gave up and went home.

Last year, at a show, John dropped Bast's leash, she made a quick little run and ESCAPED through an open gate, but around the corner there was another gate and this one was closed.

Ting thinks she's ESCAPED because once, she got out of her cat carrier, jumped into the front seat, put her paws on the dashboard and looked out the front window, but the other cats don't think this counts.

John and Benjamin are wise to the cat's plans and are careful not to let the cats out.

The cats know that ESCAPE is not easy but they think they are very smart and are still trying to pull it off.

JulianOnePlanet 2009

THE CHICKENS FINALLY COME HOME TO ROOST IN VANCOUVER

Vancouver city council recently voted unanimously in favour of scratching out an old bylaw that prevented the rearing of chickens in residential neighbourhoods. This act reflects an urban trend that is currently in full flight in North American towns and cities. With varying conditions in all the many jurisdictions, it's legal to keep flocks in Victoria, Burnaby, New Westminster, New York, Pittsburgh, Seattle, Portland, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Miami, Minneapolis, Denver, Atlanta, Nashville, San Jose, Houston, San Francisco and countless other urban and suburban roosts. But until a couple of days ago, Vancouver chicken cops were ready to pluck any outlaw hens from residences.

So why have so many city councils been brooding over this issue recently? Is it because the downturn in the economy has led people to scratch a living from their formerly ornamental gardens? Is it because so many urbanites see commercial, battery chicken farms as inhumane? Therefore some people think that they can lay claim to part of the free run, free range, organic, healthy living, anti-big business, anti-food importing attitude that is popular in certain circles, just by practicing a little backyard animal husbandry? I think the answer to the latter question is yes.

Backyard chicken flocks are a staple part of family meals for countless millions the world over and not for trendy reasons as is the case in rich North America. Where ever land is available and money is scarce people don't stew about issues such as whether or not the chickens can run free in the sun. Chickens are simply kept for food.

Here in Vancouver, a dozen eggs from a commercial farm costs around three dollars. Free run/range eggs cost a dollar or two more. These prices are hardly high enough to ruffle the feathers of locals, all of which count their incomes in the thousands of dollars. I recently bought a whole, fresh, three pound, fryer chicken at No Frills, a local grocery store, for a dollar a pound! I regularly lay more than that on the bar at Dix for a beer!

Although the repealing of this local bylaw might egg on a few dozen city dwellers to try their hands at raising chickens, I hardly think that we'll see hens cooped up on thousands of apartment balconies in Yaletown nor will we be hearing many cock-a-doodle-doos in the gardens of Kerrisdale mansions. Having said that, people do love their pets and hens make engaging pets. There are countless thousands of dogs and cats living in Vancouver apartments and they are all defecating in boxes and city parks. Adding a few layers to the list of pets isn't going to turn the city into a barnyard. But if a couple of rich celebrity chicks are seen on Robson street with hens' heads peeking out of their purses, old and young alike may pick up the trend of keeping chickens as pet companions. The next thing of course will be pet accessories and services for urban chicks. Diamond leg bands, feather dusters and hen parties will be all the rage this season, I predict. Empty nesters who are missing their children will start keeping exotic breeds for their distinct personalities. We'll probably have to stop eating chicken wings in bars because it will be seen as cruelty toward animals. No doubt Petcetera and PetSmart will start selling fancy, canned and organic chicken feed that' s advertised on TV. And of course, vegetarians will raise vegetarian chickens while carnivores will feed their chickens slugs and bugs. Local veterinarians will flock to refresher courses on chickens. Some conscientious new pet chicken owners will accompany their hens to obedience schools and focus groups but many will just wing it.

Since the change in the by-law was announced, inevitably there has been some clucking from people in various interest groups. Perhaps some of the few locals who farm vegetables in their urban gardens will take a gander at adding chicken coops to their urban home steads. After all, is a chicken in a cockamamie back yard cage any different than a cockatoo or a cockatiel in a gilded cage?...Well chicken eggs are bigger and size does matter which breeds another question. What about getting some ostrich sized eggs hatching in our backyards? This isn't just a little chicken shit! Having a few seven foot tall, three hundred pound birds scratching under the fence could really get the neighbours squawking. An owner would likely have to deal with less foul play from resident coyotes and hawks however.

Some have voiced concerns that aging layers will end up as home grown cockaleekie in city cock pots. Slaughtering a guinea hen in the garage is one thing, but slaughtering ostriches would certainly get people running around the neighbourhoods like chickens with their heads cut off! But giant African chickens will likely never come home to roost and I don't see this change to Vancouver's pet by-law as much to crow about.

JulianOnePlanet Publications Copyright 2009