Monday, February 23, 2009

A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND

Karen sat in the lunch room at the Youth Detention Center. Sullen and barely responsive, she was the stereotypical image of a teen in trouble. Piercings and tattoos accented a black hoody with a white skull and cross bones on the sleeves.

“Look.” said the warden “ If you work until your case is heard you'll get a reference and it will help to get the case dismissed. It's dirty work, but the Animal Shelter needs volunteers.”

“OK.” said Karen finally. Karen went to the Animal Shelter and cleaned cages all day. The next day she volunteered again. On the third day she went to court.

“Complete forty hours of community service and stay at the Women's Shelter for thirty days. Don't let me see you back here.” said the judge.

Karen went back to the Animal Shelter where she worked all week. She'd met a big, friendly dog, quite thin, with a white ear and one white foot. With no tag on his collar she called him Jake. “Jake's” days at the Animal Shelter were running out. Unclaimed dogs at the Animal Shelter were put down after forty five days...he'd been there for thirty-nine. He watched her with his head on one side while she worked.

“Where do you come from?” she asked him.

“Woof.” said Jake and thumped his tail on the cage floor.

On Monday the Animal Shelter didn't call for work. Karen went to the Child Services Office, got a food voucher and sold it for ten dollars. She panhandled all day and counted her money. She had fifty three dollars. She went to the Animal Shelter and got permission to take Jake out for a walk.

“Big, old dogs are to hard place.” said the Animal Control Officer.

Karen paid the fifty dollar fee. Jake was free. Together they went to McDonald's and with a coupon the remaining three dollars got them each a double cheeseburger. Karen had never seen such a happy dog.

“ I couldn't let you die there.” she said.

“Woof.” said Jake and his tail thumped against her. For the first time in a long time, Karen smiled.

Jake wasn't welcome at the Women's Shelter. That night she spent a chilly night in a park with Jake's warm body next to her.

In the morning, another trip to the Child Services Office got her another food voucher. There was a notice on the job board offering cash paid daily for delivering papers door to door. Karen and Jake went to the address on the notice.

“The papers are ready at midnight and must be delivered by 6am. You have to return the satchel to get paid.”

Karen's route had six hundred papers. There were six bundles. She split the first bundle into each of the satchel pouches and picked it up. With the satchel on her shoulders she could barely walk, after half an hour she sat on the curb exhausted and demoralized. Jake wanted to get going, this a was a good walk.

“Woof.” he said and thumped his tail.

Karen tied a knot in the strap of the satchel and draped it over Jake's back.

"There.” she said, “you deliver the papers.”

Jake walked ahead to the next gate and looked back at Karen until she caught up. It seemed like he knew the routine. She took a paper out of the satchel and tossed it onto the porch. Jake walked on to the next gate. The two of them delivered papers like that all night long. In the morning Karen had forty two dollars. She bought dog food and girl food and convinced the matron at the Women's Shelter to let Jake sleep on the back porch for the day. That night Karen and Jake delivered six hundred more papers. She bought plastic rain ponchos for them both at Army & Navy. They delivered papers six nights a week for three more months, sleeping at the shelter by day and delivering papers all night. The streets were safer for Karen with Jake around and he never left her side. The nights got shorter and warmer. Karen lost some weight, Jake gained some. Looking in the mirror one spring day, Karen took out her piercings. Her skin was clear and her hair shone. She was eighteen years old and she wasn't angry anymore.

“Woof.” said Jake, anxious to get going. It was 6:00 am and Karen had just been paid. Together they watched the sun rise. Lately, Karen had begun to notice things she hadn't noticed before. The sound of the birds at dawn, the scent of the lawns after a spring rain. The smile of the girl at the coffee counter. Karen put her arms around Jake's neck. Karen realized that she was happy.

“Woof.” said Jake.

One night when Karen and Jake arrived for work the supervisor at the Distribution Office said.

“You wanna work in the office here startin' Monday we got an openin' ...be for a month at least.”

“Can Jake stay? “ asked Karen.

“No problem.”

Karen did office and warehouse work for the next two years, shipping and receiving the papers and entering route information into the computer. Jake patrolled the loading dock. All the drivers got to know him. She rented a basement suite with a co-worker and walked Jake every day at the beach.

One Monday in September Jake limped over to her and didn't woof. The next day he could barely stand and he shook. She took him to an animal hospital in a cab.

The vet felt the hard mass in Jake's side. Later he showed her the x-ray.

Jake looked at her and thumped his tail weakly but he didn't woof.

“You saved my life.” she said with her hand on his head.

Walking alone for the first time in years, Karen went out of the hospital onto the street, walked without direction, past the Distribution Office, past the park where she'd spent that first cold night with Jake, past the houses where they'd delivered the papers all those nights all those months and years ago, down to the beach where she walked every day these days with Jake. She sat on a bench and looked out across the bay, at the mountains and the city and the sea while her tears fell. The people went by with their dogs and children. The sun slowly dropped. The air cooled. She sat there for a long time.

“We made a good team.” she said out loud. “ I saved your life and you saved mine. I loved you Jake and I'm going to be okay.”


JulianOnePlanet Publications Copyright 2009

First Published in Vancouver in the Metro Pet Gazette February 2009



Thursday, February 19, 2009

JulianOnePlanet Presents....THE TUESDAY NIGHT NO NAMES

Julian's TUESDAY NIGHT NO NAMES has not been nominated for an Oscar this year but but I consider to it be a dark horse nominee for cult video of the year. Warning, unless you are in the league, and actually even if you are, you should only watch this video if you have absolutely nothing else to do.

To see the slide show of my Tuesday night hockey league click the link above. It's on Viddler.com because YouTube rejected it because it's over ten minutes long. As an artist, I felt unwilling to compromise the integrity of the show to meet YouTube's criteria so Viddler leaped into the gap.
Viddler seems to be a very good service, similar to YouTube but with fewer restrictions and the registration process was quicker as well.

JulianOnePlanet Publications 2009

Sunday, February 15, 2009

THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF BREWERIES IN THE WORLD

There are two kinds of people in this world....those who divide the world into two kinds of people and those who don't....but seriously folks, the incongruous thing about the myriad of beers available in this world is that there are really only two kinds of breweries in the world. The first one is the kind that brews and sells the overwhelming majority of all the beer in the world....the commercial brewery. The second one is the craft brewery. In almost everything these two types of breweries do they are polar opposites.
The commercial brewery wants to sell as much beer as possible and there aren't really any limits to the amount of beer that can be brewed or sold. The craft brewery has quite limited brewing capacity and all the beer will sell out fairly quickly.
The commercial brewery wants to appeal to the widest possible demographic and so the beer is made with the least possible taste, colour and very low alcohol content. The craft brewery is brewing for a tiny segment of the population, likely less than 5% of all beer drinkers. Craft brews are very flavourful, meaning malty and/or hoppy. Crafts brews are colourful, appearing coppery or black as well as golden. Higher gravity brews from 5% up to 9% are the norm and light beers are rarely brewed.
The commercial breweries cut costs on ingredients whenever and wherever they can and using cheap cereal grains such as corn and wheat and rice not only saves money but eliminates annoying taste in the beer such as maltiness...heaven forbid! Hops are used sparingly at best. Craft breweries use only top quality brewer's barley such as two row barley. They buy in smaller quantities and pay extra for quality in order to get distinctive flavour in the finished beer. Hops of many varieties are used liberally both for bittering and finishing.
Commercial breweries blend very carefully for absolute consistency. Every time a batch is complete 10% goes into one of the many onsite storage tanks and if the latest batch is not the same as the last batch, blending takes place until it's exactly the same. In a craft brewery each batch is celebrated for it's uniqueness! Consistency isn't expected nor is it the overriding goal.
Big commercial breweries spend most of their brewing budgets on advertising and as little as possible on the beer itself. Craft breweries have little money for advertising and beyond labelling and local promos, they expect their loyal fans to spread the word while the beer speaks for itself and that's where the money is mostly spent.
The difference between commercial breweries and craft breweries is that commercial breweries compete with each other to see who can make the most money for their shareholders whereas craft brewers compete to see who can make the best beer.....quite a different thing.
The commercial brewery is a giant, industrial, multinational corporation that brews in gigantic batches for mass market distribution. The craft brewery is usually a local, small company brewing in tiny batches for distribution to local restaurants and pubs in casks and often for consumption on the premises on tap.
When we drink beer brewed by a giant commercial brewery, we are talking mostly about light bodied, fizzy, yellow lager that is sold the world over.
When we drink beer brewed by a craft brewery, we are usually drinking ales and we could be talking about beer that is brewed in a style of times gone by, or in the style of a small distant region or we could be talking about beer brewed in a new style that the brewer has created for the sake of increased variety.
So all this does beg the question doesn't it? Why do the big guys have 95% of the world's market share when craft breweries go to all this trouble to make great beer. Well, I guess that most people don't know much about beer, don't like it that much, but are thirsty and want to get a bit drunk. But for those of us that know something about beer, like it a lot and still want to get a bit drunk, we'll take craft brewed beer every time!

Friday, February 6, 2009

THE BEST BREWERY IN THE WORLD

julianoneplanet@gmail.com

Reasons To Drink Better Beer
1. Nothing is simple in this world and nothing is what it seems. Therefore I offer an ordinary reason as a first one. Better beer tastes better.
2. Better beer is green.....well not literally and not really but it's fashionable so it gets second place

Vancouver, a couple of decades ago, was a largely undiscovered green spot on the Pacific Rim that, as I recall, didn't have much interest in craft brewing.....there has been a minor revolution of sorts....at least a fashion trend towards better beer..... in some small circles that is like CAMRA for example.
I was doing some research last night that involved hanging out at the best brewery in the world. Nice work if you can get it you might say. And I'd agree with you. It was Cask Night at Dix Barbeque and Brewery and our good friend James Walton from Storm Brewing threw a great curve ball to the batters taking strikes at Canada's favourite pastime...namely drinking beer. James provided a fresh cask of apple cider. Made from Saltspring Island apples grown in a hundred year old orchard James pressed the apples in a press he made himself.....now that's craft brewing. As far away from real ale as Budweiser is, the Saltspring Island Cider was just as distant from big company cider such as Growers. Dry, slightly cloudy, very appley in the nose and on the tongue, not too fizzy and cool from the cask with a surprisingly long finish and going down quickly at $5.75 for the 20oz pint this was an ultra rare oportunity to drink locally made cider by one of Vancouvers best and most dedicated craft brewers.
But what's this "best brewery in the world" business all about anyway. Well dear reader, I don't make this statement lightly, I've done extensive research over many years with funding from several sources (I've drunk a lot of beer and many people have bought me pints). So here's a dissertation on the subject.
Dix only has craft brewed beer on tap. Yes, if you want a bottle of Bud or Canadian it's in the fridge. But the yellow beer drinkers usually choose Red Truck Lager, a craft brewed version of the worlds best selling type of lager. So let's just say that if you love yellow lager Dix has an excellent version. And like big company yellow lager, it doesn't have much taste so it's great for those aren't crazy about the taste of beer but are thirsty and/or want to get a shine on.Link
So is that why Dix is the best brewery in the world?...uh no. Is it the Red Truck Ale? Is it the Game Day Pilsner? Is it the Imperial Stout Is it the ESB? Or maybe it's the food..... Is it the Southern Pride Smoker that produces the beef ribs?....uh no...not all this great stuff.... is it the great staff or the period room or the north Yaletown location?...no not this good stuff either.......... Its the IPA....Derrick makes killer IPA.